Teddy Bear Roosevelt

Theodore Roosevelt had filled pages of his diary by writing about the love of his life, his first wife, nearly as often as he thought about her. He noted the simplest expressions, the smallest acts of recognition, the quietest smiles, the loudest silences, and every action that resulted in a memory that they could replay again-and-again in the future that they had planned together. In his ever-present pocket diary on February 14, 1884, after she died from complications of childbirth, Theodore Roosevelt simply wrote an “X” above one striking sentence: “The light has gone out of my life.”

Theodore Roosevelt recovered and made history, but the pain that he felt probably never dissipated. It was also never again mentioned. Two days after the funeral, he wrote a short biography of Alice in his diary, ending “For joy or sorrow, my life has now been lived out.” Roosevelt’s biographer, Edmund Morris, wrote that “Like a lion obsessively trying to drag a spear from its flank, Roosevelt set about dislodging Alice Lee from his soul. Nostalgia, a weakness to which he was abnormally vulnerable, could be indulged if it was pleasant, but if painful it must be suppressed, “until the memory is too dead to throb.” Alice Hathaway Lee’s existence may have crossed his mind or remained in his heart, but her name never again passed through his lips. Their daughter — Alice’s namesake — entered adulthood without ever hearing her father speak of her mother. It was simply too painful for this, probably the bravest of Presidents. Following his Presidency, Roosevelt wrote his Autobiography, which was detailed and thorough, but he didn’t mention his first wife even once. Letters were destroyed, photographs were were burned, and Roosevelt’s only method of coping with her absence was pretending that she was never there in the first place. He once wrote of Alice that “I did not think I could win her, and I went nearly crazy at the mere thought of losing her.” Once he did lose her, he certainly lost a part of himself.

Immediately following Alice’s death, Theodore told a friend that he was “beyond healing and time will never change me in that respect”. Roosevelt remarried in 1886 and had five more children, but his silence about Alice’s impact on his life is just as striking as the words he wrote about her while she was alive. In August 1974, President Richard Nixon — one of Roosevelt’s successors and biggest admirers — resigned from the Presidency and in his final speech as President, to White House staff gathered in the East Room, quoted from one of only two references that Roosevelt made to Alice following her death:

“She was beautiful in face and form, and lovelier still in spirit; As a flower she grew, and as a fair young flower she died. Her life had been always in the sunshine; there had never come to her a single sorrow; and none ever knew her who did not love and revere her for the bright, sunny temper and her saintly unselfishness. Fair, pure, and joyous as a maiden; loving , tender, and happy. As a young wife; when she had just become a mother, when her life seemed to be just begun, and when the years seemed so bright before her—then, by a strange and terrible fate, death came to her. And when my heart’s dearest died, the light went from my life forever.”

Theodore Roosevelt went on to achieve his ambitions and realize great success, but his tribute to Alice bears witness to his pain and gives extra symbolism to the lion’s last words before his heart gave out in 1919: “Please put out the light.”

Frolicking 4th of July

We headed up to NY on Friday to party with the Johnson's of Jamestown this weekend.  THAT was my first mistake... I-70 was a parking lot and I was getting burned alive in the Geo.  I was so close to pulling off the highway and checking into a hotel, but then the traffic opened up and we ended up in NY just as the sun was setting.

They had a nice little campfire going, with beer and s’mores... I was so relieved.  We pretty much spent the weekend in our swimming suits, frolicking at Rick and Diane's pool next door.  Yeah, that’s right… we were frolicking, which is exactly what I like to do… I consider any weekend we’re in full frolick, to be a success! 

Sunday afternoon we finally got the party started and then headed home Sunday evening. 

The Johnson’s are a fine clan and always a joy to be around.  Mike always said I come from good stock…

Damn straight, Baby.

Michael Nathan Kuligowski

Michael Nathan Kuligowski, 50, passed away Thursday, June 9th, at his home in Arlington, VA. He was born in Fort Meade, MD September 28th, 1960, to Stanley and Phyllis Kuligowski, currently residing in Derry, NH. He met and fell in love with his wife, Tina, whom he married in Las Vegas, NV on March 4th, 2008. As a devoted and loving husband, Mike expressed his deep appreciation and good fortune for finding and spending his remaining years with her.
 
Mike and his family have experienced tremendous tragedy in the past few years; he was predeceased by his son, Adam Kuligowski (21) on April 6th, 2009, and then his daughter, Kalia Kuligowski (26) on January 6th of this year. On August 24th, 2010, Mike was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Mike turned misfortune and heartbreak into an opportunity to strengthen the bonds with his surviving sons, Stefan and Lukas Kuligowski of Derry, NH. He reminded them more often than not, that they mattered so much to him and that they were loved more than anyone in the world.
 
Including previously mentioned family members, Mike is survived by his two brothers; Jan Kuligowski from Florida, and Stanley (Stash) Kuligowski, of Manchester, NH, and his sister; Stephanie Kuligowski of Derry, NH. Additionally, he is survived by the mother of his four children; Tracie Kuligowski, as well as a large and tight-knit network of cousins throughout the New England area.
 
Mike joined the State Department in 1984, serving as an IT specialist at US Embassies around the world. His most recent assignment was at the US Embassy in Bangkok, Thailand, where he lived with his family, to include his stepchildren; Micah and Mary Middleton. He also served in Africa, South America, South Korea, and Saudi Arabia during the first Gulf War. He is also a veteran of the US Army, and served from 1978 -1982.

In 2008, he received The Thomas Morrison Information Management Award, which recognizes outstanding and unique contributions in the information management field. This is considered the pinnacle of achievements in his field, specifically within the Department of State. While well respected by his peers, Mike was better known by his colleagues and friends for his gifts in being able to impact their lives on a very deep and profound level. His compassion helped many when they needed it most; to guide them, humor them, restore them, help them turn a corner, pull them from the edge or just allow them to shut the world out and absorb his healing vibes.
 
He was a painter and a student of spirituality. He loved to hike, and spent many hours climbing the peaks of the White Mountains in New Hampshire with his cousin and best friend; Luke Johnson.
 
Many hearts are broken, many tears have fallen, and a heavy sadness weighs on our collective soul. We love you Michael Kuligowski… we miss you, and we will never forget you