The Goodbye Weekend

We arrived Friday afternoon and cooked a batch of food at the condo for Stefan, Lukas and their friends. Saturday morning we were at the church early and Kalia’s casket was open for a short time. It was good for me to see her. Mary started crying though, and didn’t stop until the service was over… probably 2 hours.

Everyone from the family spoke; first Tracie, who recited a very beautiful and heart-wrenching poem she wrote called "No Poem", followed by Lukas and Stefan. I was very proud of both of them. I know Lukas would have preferred to just sit and listen, but he summoned the courage to speak, and delivered a very mature and dignified eulogy. Mike told a story about driving the kids cross-country one summer in a Geo. And then Nathan, Kalia's best friend, had some very insightful stories to share about their adventures growing up together.

The service continued at the cemetery with a very short, graveside memorial, and concluded with a nice luncheon sponsored by a group affiliated with the church. I have never seen so many trays of perfect cheesy potatoes in my life! It was one of a thousand little things that happened this weekend that contributed to bearing the unbearable; from the moment we accidently cut in the Southwest boarding line, to the Dunkin Donuts “incident”. Remind me to tell you about it sometime.

I should acknowledge that this weekend was a lot easier to cope with thanks to a very good friend; Joanne's presence was a factor in helping Mary, Mike and I through a tough time.

Saturday evening, once the sun set, and the snow began to fall, the flames of Kalia's memorial bonfire developed into a full blaze. The day came to a close in a magical moment as Kalia’s family and friends gathered around the fire to drink a little hot chocolate and share in her memory.

The Buddhists, in a beautiful and fitting expression of wisdom, say, “Your end, which is endless, is as a snowflake dissolving in the pure air.”

Kalia, Beautiful Kalia

3:09 am, January 6, 2011... woke to the sound of my husband crying on the phone. I already knew why. He was scheduled to fly to NH that afternoon to spend time with Kalia before the Good Lord called her home, but it was too late.

I spent the day crying... on the couch, in bed, on the phone, in the car.

I had just seen Kalia two months ago when she drove down to take part in the Jon Stewart Rally for Sanity. We all crammed into a booth at the Silver Diner in Arlington, VA; me, Mike, Lukas, Cody, Micah and Kalia... ate a huge breakfast and laughed at life's random humor.

She looked great, felt great and, if you didn't know any better (which was the case with most of her friends), you would never know she was sick. I could never imagine that would be our last day together. It was the start of a good day, and a good moment to have in rememberance of Kalia.

I came in to work to avoid lying in bed all day and thinking about the source and reason of this run of bad luck, only to avoid co-workers and their expressions that mirror my mindset. I don't have an answer... I don't know why... I only know that my stomach turns and my head throbs and my heart physically aches because a very bright and beautiful light in my life has gone out.

Unexpected Departure

Feels like we left Bangkok "in the middle of the night" at the end of this summer. We didn't know what to expect after Mike was medevaced back to the US, after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Two weeks later, we flew Lukas and Mary home to try and resettle our lives back in the US. Lukas went straight to Derry to live with his sister Kalia, and Mary stayed in NY for a few months until we could sort out some kind of permanent plan.

Now that the holidays have passed and Mike is well into his chemotherapy treatments, we took up permanent residence in Arlington, VA and brought Mary home. Micah will finish the year at Houghton Academy before joining us.

Time to rename this blog ...